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Cloudy 28°F Feels Like 23°F Updated Dec 9 07:45 p.m. CT Watch the Tulsa Forecast UV Index: 0 Low Wind: From N at 4 mph Humidity: 90% Pressure: 30.40 in. Dew Point: 26°F Visibility: 8.0 miles

My morning reflection:

James 4: 6-8

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God, and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

I've been haunted by my own sin and pride these past several months. Why am I so angry and so easily annoyed? I have no toleration for ignorance, stupidity or simple mistakes. I show no grace or love when I'm hurt or upset. It's become all about me and nothing about God.

It seems like it all started a few weeks before my wedding. I was anxious, stressed and extremely annoyed with everything and everyone. What should have been the most amazing time of planning and preparing turned into a nightmare as I allowed myself to be influenced by the enemy. I started to manifest in the worst possible way. For the first time in my life, I got bronchitis a few days before my wedding and an eye infection. I was so sick and miserable, Anne, Jane and David had to pray for me the night before, because I was acting out of the ordinary. I just couldn't humble myself to let it go and submit to God. Finally, on the morning of my wedding, out of desperation I submitted to God and repented, and his grace kept me from coughing and hacking all the way down the aisle. Even though God was faithful, I was so quick to forget his grace.

When I moved out here to Tulsa, a 70 year old man made an offensive comment towards me while I was standing in line at the post office. It didn't even take a second thought before I starting talking back to him and making my own rude comments towards him. I stood there in line fighting with an elderly man on a walking cane, not even realizing that I'm just feeding into this man's ignorance. When he comes upon another Asian, he'll probably think that they are just as mean and crazy as I was. The moment I stepped out of the post office, I was still angry but also regretful. I felt gross inside.

It's been extremely difficult for me to humble myself and repent, but God still shows me grace and teaches me in his own way. I've a had a few more lessons on anger and pride which I've failed, but God always seems to give me a second chance. I'm aware that this problem is not going to go away and I'll probably have to deal with even more rude and insensitive people (especially in my profession as a marriage and family therapist). If I went off on a client the way I did with that old man, that would be a law suit waiting to happen. But I thank God for his word to guide me and for his grace to help me see my own brokenness. I'm a work in progress...
Just wanted to share the word of God and my thoughts with you.

On a different note....FALL IS HERE!!! No more humidity and unbearable heat! Praise God and I'll be in Seattle in 2 and half weeks for Jane's wedding! Time is flying by so quickly!